Wednesday, September 2, 2009

First Love

The silence was deafening.

A single tear slid down her cheek as she choked back the sobs in her heart.

It wasn't supposed to be like this!

Memories of the love and passion raced through her mind and her cold heart.

The memories were replaced with icy questions of "Why?" and "How?".

All she wanted was for everything to be the way it used to be, or even better. She craved the joy, the love, the desire. She wanted to have that glowing happiness again. But why wouldn't He just do this one thing?!!

She had grown accustomed to people frequently commenting on her bubbly personality.

Now she felt like an old soda gone flat and dull. You know, the kind you spew out of your mouth because it is so nasty.

Before she could catch herself, streams of tears had followed the lone tear that led the rest.

It was no use!
Who was she kidding? Couldn't everyone see what she really knew?

She glanced at the clock that screamed for her to obey it's demands.
She had a choice. Do the same thing she had been doing and continue dieing this slow and agonizing death, or forget the routine and go for the passion she craved from the inside out.

With a quickening of her heart beat she knew what she had to do.

She almost ran to the bedroom and fell on her face. By now the sobs were uncontrollable.

She cried out to her Savior. She asked forgiveness for her cold heart.
She repented of every pretentious and pious deed that had steered her so far from the joyful life the Lover of her soul had planned for her.

She still didn't have all the answers.

Time seemed to stand still as she fell into His arms, His embrace, His Presence.

There was still a silence on the "demands" she had made, but now it didn't matter.

She surrendered her will and buried it inside of His.

Her heart that had been cold and bitter was now melting in His peace and embrace.
She allowed Him into that one place she had barred shut. He now had open access to do as He pleased.

The relief of not being in control flooded her soul almost as much as the warmth of His Presence.

The clock was still screaming missed appointments and failed deadlines. When He was finished, she picked herself up and headed for His appointments.

Joy consumed her. Peace filled her. Love emanated from her and happiness described her!

She had returned to her first love.

Revelation 2:4-5
"But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent."


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