I can tell already that 2010 is going to be a year of pain~ growing pains that is.
While in the hospital after Christmas - bored out of my mind - I was thinking about 2009 and its successes and failures. In my smug review of the year, the Holy Spirit gently whispered His thoughts into my spirit.
He wasn't impressed.
So, I prayed.
"Lord, I REALLY want to be ALL that YOU want me to be. Change me to be MORE like YOU than EVER before - REGARDLESS of the cost."
As soon as I breathed those last words, I gasped!
I pictured my hands grasping at the thin air trying to catch the words and shove them way back into the abyss of my being.
Did I really just pray that?
Do I really mean it?
After some soul searching and some soul "dying", I do really mean it.
After all, what good am I to HIM unless HE is in me greater with each passing day. The good thing? I can't do it! I'm not good enough! Now don't get me wrong and paint me into some super saint~ 'cause that I "ain't"! In my flesh I don't want to do nothing but just live free and be happy. I am a stinking sinner and struggle with a sinful nature. And the sinful nature likes things just the way they are! But.... I do love my Jesus! I want Him more than I want me!
He has to do it, but I have to let Him.
So, with all of that in mind, I was CHALLENGED again today during our weekly staff meeting. We are reading Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love. Chapter 8 was today. "Obsessed".
If you are looking for a book to challenge you (along with God's Word), read this one!
Chan emphasizes James 1:2-4. Basically, God is more interested in our character than our comfort.
I knew that.
But today I perceived and completely grasped God's Word for me regarding this.
Our culture in America SCREAMS comfort.
Christianity produces character.
So...... I am continuing the journey to which He has called me.
I want to embrace this journey with His strength.
I want to continue this journey with His Word.
I want to reach others on this journey with His passion.
I want to finish this journey His character.
I have a feeling most of it will be without comfort.