I made my one millionth trip to my bathroom sink last night :) to wash some dishes (see yesterday's post) and I almost uttered some grumbling. Then I remembered-
"Give thanks in all Circumstances"......
So, I began thanking God for all things.
(Don't think I am super spiritual - just human and trying desperately to be obedient to God's Word.)
That process brought back some memories for me. It was then that the floodgates of my heart opened and praise and thankgsiving poured out of my spirit!
You see, years ago, when I was told I would never have children, God asked me to thank Him for that. Every month when I knew once again a child was not in my womb, God gently asked me to thank Him that I was not pregnant.
It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I felt like I was lying to God. But I eventually obeyed.
I didn't understand then, and I think I am just beginning to understand now.
God was asking me to :
Trust Him
Have Faith in His Will
Thank Him ahead of time that His will is better than mine
God wanted me to Trust Him.
He wanted me to Trust my deepest desires to Him.
He literally wanted me to throw my desires and longings away- put them in the trash heap of life.
It wasn't a bad desire. I just wanted a baby- a part of me and my husband - a baby to hold in my arms and love and cherish.
A baby.
God wanted me to trust Him whether I held an infant in my arms, as my own, or not.
God wanted me to have faith in HIS will for us.
He wanted me to have faith that He knew what was best for us- regardless of what we thought or desired.
His divine and perfect will is best for us.
What we couldn't see (in the future) was the beautiful teen aged daughter God had for us.
What we couldn't see was the fact that if we had a baby in our arms, would we have so readily brought a teen into our home.
God wanted me to thank Him in advance that His will was better than mine.
What I didn't know was that I was thanking Him for my daughter and her family in faith. I was thanking Him in faith for the blessings that I could not even imagine He was going to send our way.
Sure it would have been easier during my "barren" years if I could have seen into the future. If I could have a glimpse of my beautiful Glenda, if I could have felt Macy's arms around my neck, if I could have known the joy of holding Mia for the first time, - then thanking God would have been a breeze- BUT God wanted me to thank Him in advance and in faith- in Trust simply for knowing He is God and His ways are so much more above my ways! Faith is "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
See, I thought during my "barren" years I was to thank God in faith for the children He was going to give me. But God asked me to "thank Him that I was not pregnant each month."
Do you see the difference? Basically by thanking Him that my desire did not come to pass, I was able to thank Him that His will was being done in my life.
Thus- 1 Thess. 5:18
"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
I said, "Thank you God that I am not pregnant."
I say, "Thank You God that I did not have a child in 1984, or in 1985, or in 1986, or in 1987, or in 1988, or in 1989 - because in 1990 you gave us the perfect daughter- in Your time, in Your way, in Your greatness!"
I say, "Thank You God for my precious grandaughters!"
I pray I always have a thankful heart.
I pray I always trust Him even when I can't see His plan.
I pray I always give Him my desires and my longings.
I pray I always have a thankful heart.
My prayer for you today is that you have a thankful heart.
God is so good and His love and mercy endure forever!
blessings to you my friends!
Happy Thanksgiving!
dorinda
2 comments:
We can all find things to be thankful for if we just get past our "wants" and realize that what He wants for us superceeds anything that we can possible imagine. It's hard sometimes but He never said it would be easy. He only promises that He knows what is best for us.
I love this story no matter how many times I hear it.
Love you!
Jenn
*tear* :)
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