Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Daniel Fast - Take Two: Obedience or Submission

Most of you know that this is our church's second year to do the Daniel Fast.

I think it is safe to say that across the board, it is more difficult this year.

I texted a friend the other day to say that I believe it is harder this year because we already know how difficult it is. Last year there was excitement and the unknown. This year there is dread and more dread.

I have pondered all of this and questioned my spirituality. The truth is - sacrifice isn't sacrifice unless it hurts.

And.... I am even unable to do the complete fast because I am having issues with my blood sugar. I am cutting out things though that I REALLY REALLY don't like going without.

But my thoughts tonight are not on "my" sacrifice, or even on "my" desires. My thoughts, my introspection tonight is on my lack of submission.

You see, I have obedience, but at the moment I don't have submission.
I am being brutally honest.

I don't WANT to give up diet coke.
Today, I gave up diet coke only because I feel bad that I am not doing the complete fast.
I am sick of drinking water.
I don't like water.
And, I have battled a negative attitude about it all day.

Again, I am just being brutally honest.
Now, the shallowness of my spirituality is screaming through this blog.
I will wake up tomorrow morning and read this and think, "Yikes!!! Did I really put that on the web for the world to see?" Then I will remind myself, that I should be more worried what HE thinks...... He already sees these issues in my soul.

What do I want more?
Diet Coke or a more passionate relationship with Christ?

What do I want more?
Diet Coke or my friends' unsaved children returning to Christ?

What do I want more?
Diet Coke or miracles of healing for my family?

What do I want more?
Diet Coke or a financial miracle for our church to be on our new land?

When I type it like that, put it in black and white, I feel ashamed.
So, in my heart of hearts, I want the spiritual things.
But in my physical being, I still want a diet coke.

I guess I am getting at the whole point of a fast- doing without something-
Letting that carnal, fleshly side of our lives die so that the spiritual side has more voice, more influence, more strength!

I spent more time in prayer today. I knelt at my bed and shared my feelings with my Savior.
I didn't hear the "Well done my good and faithful servant", but I did feel His encouragement and strength.

I didn't drink a diet coke.
Sacrifice isn't fun.

But a cleansed, victorious spirit is refreshing.
I want THAT more than a Diet Coke.

I want HIM more than a Diet Coke.

I want a heart that pleases HIM more than a Diet Coke.

I want to want what He wants MORE than a Diet Coke.

So with that, I think I am beginning to move from obedience to submission
- just beginning.

blessings to each of you and you consider your life of obedience or submission.....


LAURIE said...

It is much more difficult this time for us also, mainly because we are all on such different schedules and cooking is nearly impossible. We decided that this time, the best sacrificial committment we could make is to be more committed to prayer as a family. Therefore, because of health or other reasons, we are only fasting our evening meal and during that time we shut the world off and spend a great deal of time pouring our hearts over a family devo and going into a time of praying for others. This time of family praying has been awesome!! It is difficult to give up those carnal things...tonight there was a show on tv that Jordan really really wanted to watch and Clayton was really really tired and needed a nap before he went to work ... and the enemy almost got his way. But I was determined to not be defeated and we had our family devo and our prayer time and it was absolutely great!

God sees our heart and sees the sacrifice whether we fast one meal or two or just a diet coke.

You can make it Dorinda!!
love, Laurie

Beth in NC said...

I've done this fast before, so I can identify. Soft drinks aren't an issue for me, but CHOCOLATE.

I pray your desire for diet Coke will decrease each day as you continue to choose the Lord over your own desires. Our flesh certainly screams out when deprived doesn't it?

I have my own desires that scream out each day. Trust me. :-/

Thank you for sharing Dorinda. You are a beautiful example to so many!