There are some memorable pictures imprinted in my mind.
Jordan and Taylor asleep in their beds - eyes closed, mouths open, oblivious to the emotions of this mommy's heart.
Mackenzie - following behind my every step that morning (night?), not letting me out of her sight. Every time I stopped to do something, she would hug and kiss me again. Talk about emotions.....!
Rusty and Mackenzie watching me go through security. They stood there arms around each other, watching my every move. They waved each time we made eye contact. Both of their faces had the same expression (they have no idea how much a like they really are). If life was a cartoon, I could have seen the thought bubbles over their heads typing their sentimental thoughts of "last moments" before I left.
I made it through security with "all my stuff". Rusty couldn't for the life of him understand why I was burdening myself carrying so much "stuff" through the airports. I think all grandmas will understand. I was about to meet Macy and Brad and Glenda in Chicago. From Chicago we were boarding a plane that would be in the air for 14 hours until we landed in Beijing. Macy was going to be sitting by Noni! My backpack had prizes and games and stickers - something for every hour of the trip. I also had my laptop and a couple of dvds she could watch. ~ To me, all of that was very much worth lugging my "stuff" through airports.
As I got ready to turn the last corner of visibility with Rusty and Mackenzie, I turned for one last glimpse. The image I saw at that moment will never leave my mind.
Still arm in arm. Waving furiously. Mackenzie blowing kisses. My husband looking at me with a warmth of love that would follow me to the other side of the world. I couldn't wave back because of all my "stuff". I smiled my bravest smile- conveying my depth of love back to them.
I breathe a desperate silent prayer. "God, pleeeeease bring me back home to them."
I turn the corner and walk to my gate, wagging all of my "stuff".
I have an hour to wait for my flight- by myself.
In a couple of hours I would be reunited with the other three members of my family. Our journey to Mia Grace is well underway.
Sometimes getting to the good stuff in life requires some discomfort.
Sometimes we realize the value of what we have,
when we have to do without what we have for a little while.
Sometimes it is good to be sad because a joy
greater than our sadness is on its way.