Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Laugh Out Loud Moment: My Christmas Gift to You!

I would like to give each of you a gift~ but being the "un"wealthy person that I am, I don't have that much moola. So, I will give you laughter today.

Here is a true-to-life story that I think will at least make you smile. :~) It is one of the very first blog posts I made. I edited it a little for you just in time for Christmas!


Have you ever felt so unspiritual and unChristlike that you thought you'll never make it to heaven? I have those days - often. Oh, the day will start out fine, but after a few minutes of life in the Blann home, I know it's going to be a doozy of a day.

Let me share a particular day with you.

We had just moved to the area. It was fall, but not quite cold yet. One of my children had some type of sports practice in the Marion area and I was driving on the service road.

Now, it may come as a surprise to some of you, but don't be too upset - I was running a little late. I had to choose when we got in the car, be on time or get gas.

True to my personality, I chose to be on time (quit laughing!). I really do try. Plus, I did the mental math, 2 gallons and a few fumes would get me to Marion and then I would get gas before heading back home.

Here's where the really human part comes in. My mental math was correct. I made it there fine, my child was NOT late and life was good. Now understand that if one child is practicing, then the other two are with me. So, somehow a sibling disagreement broke out on our way to the neighborhood gas station.

Being the "focused" parent that I am, I immediately set out to teach my children some great principle about life, love, and stop hitting your sister. The next thing I know, my wonderful car, that has been heaving itself on the last few fumes of gasoline, has given up the ghost. It is at that moment that I realize we did not stop at the little gas station a half mile back.

No problem. I have a cell phone and I have a wonderful husband. Meanwhile, my wise words of parental instruction have gone unheeded and World War ten thousand and fifty-two has erupted in the back seat.

Ring Ring. Ring Ring. Ring Ring.

Hmmmmm. There is no answer on my wonderful husband's phone - and then I am reminded that he was going to be in an area that did not have reception.

At this time, I see very bright, very vivid blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror, while I am looking at two very misbehaving children, who at the sight of the very bright flashing lights began to wail and scream.

(Have you ever had a day like this? Well, put your seat belts on 'cause I "ain't" through.)

A nice over-sized gentleman walks to my vehicle and asks if there is a problem. I mumble that I have run out of gas. He asks me if he can call someone for me and I tell him I am getting in touch with my husband. He says that since it is getting dusk and visibility is not its best that he would keep his squad car behind mine to prevent a traffic hazard.

I am thinking - "Traffic hazard! "You got the blue lights flashing so that all of Memphis can see and you think my suburban is a traffic haszard?!!!!"

Not wanting to tie up the kind man's time with his very bright, very blue flashing lights that I am sure can be seen five states over, I call my parent's home, knowing a land line will surely get reception.

My dad graciously said he would be right there.

In the mean time, the very kind man with the very bright and very blue flashing lights approaches my vehicle again. He was checking on some things- which I am sure he was probably trying to make sure I had not kidnapped the sweet, wonderful children in the back seat who are still making enough racket to disturb the fish in the Mississippi River.

I proceed to get out of the car to tell him that I had reached my father who was on his way with precious gas.

In my nervousness I began twisting my hair between my fingers.

No big deal. I talk. I get nervous. I twist my hair.

Always have. Always will.

It's not a bad habit,
...................unless it is way past time to go to the salon and get your acrylic nails filled in.

I mean, as in, some of the nails are lifting off and you are just praying they don't pop off at some really bad time- when you are stranded on the side of the road talking to someone who thinks you might have kidnapped your own children.

Good news.... not one of my nails popped off.

Bad news..... my hair got all tangled underneath one as I am twisting my hair.

Worse, somehow or another it was my left hand on the right side of my head.

Go ahead.

Put your hand over there to try and figure out how on earth I did that.

You figure it out and you can call me and tell me. Then we will both know.

Okay, let's review.

I am stranded on the side of the road with no gas in my vehicle.

My children are screaming.
And I am standing there talking to an officer with my hand crossed over my head and can't move it.

Try that and act sophisticated!

I yank and I tug, all the while trying to act calm, cool, and collected.

Yeah, right.

Well, I finally yank hard enough and my hand gets free.

I look at my newly acquired hand and you guessed. I am minus a nail or two.

Where? Hanging out my blooming head!!!!!

Thankfully my dear old dad drives up at this time. Then my phone rings and my husband has seen where he has missed my last hundred calls and is worried sick about me. The kids now decide to go to sleep. I have gas in my car and can go home. But of course, now it is time to pick up the child that I dropped off.

Now, I shared that story with you - and without much exaggeration- to let you know we all have those days. Those days that make you think, "Why on earth did I even bother to get out of bed this morning?" Days that years later may be humorous but at the time are trying.

So - for Christmas today, I give each of you the gift of laughter ~ at my expense.
Go ahead.
It's okay.

You know you already laughed anyway.
And maybe even you are thinking,
"And I thought I was bad!"

Merry Christmas!
May the Joy of the Season reside in your heart every day of the year!



Beth in NC said...

LOL ... that really did give me a good giggle. I can only imagine. :o) I'm thankful the fingernail didn't pop in the policeman's eye. Ha.

Thanks for sharing!

Shannon said...

That made my day :) Thanks for the gift of laughter ... I can just picture it all happening ... LOL!

Anonymous said...

good to know- i'm not alone in my absentmindedness :o)

Mary Beth said...

Wish I had a picture, my friend... or even better... a video!

Thanks for the joy today.