Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Hope for the Broken Hearted

It all starts with the click of the light switch.

Click.

There it is.
The darkness.
The silence.

But it is so much more than that.
It is with the darkness that all of the sadness floods in.

With the steps of a broken heart, she quietly falls into the cold bed.
And again, a tear rolls down her cheek.
Followed by another.
And another.

The tears are nothing compared to the ache in her soul.

How did she end up like this?
What happened to all of those dream of a fun life?

The movie plays in her head again.

The happy little girl at a birthday party.
The giggles.
The snuggles.

And somewhere between the party and the prom, the music changed and her video life went from vibrant colors to black and white.

Her pillow is wet with the tears.
Her heart is dull from the pain.


Is there any way out?
Does anybody REALLY care?

"God, if you are Who they say You are, why can't You do something?"

Silence.
Darkness.

A tear.

But somewhere in her head she hears a little tune.

The video starts back up in her head.

The little girl again.
Happy music.

She's in a small Sunday School class.
The teacher is talking about the Good Shepherd.

Jesus.

He left the 99 to go find one lost lamb.

The teacher hands a stuffed lamb to the little hands.
One by one the children take turns hugging the white fur.


"Oh, how Jesus loves His little sheep! And Jesus loves YOU! He will leave everything to come find you! All you have to do is call out to Him."

The tune is louder now.
Its familiar chords ring in her heart.
An anthem long forgotten with the dust and cobwebs of broken dreams and raw emotions.

"Jesus loves me this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.
We are weak, BUT He is strong!"

In the silent black of the night, a sliver of hope makes its way through the brokenness of her heart.

"Jesus loves me?"
But I am nothing.
All of my life is nothing.

"Jesus love me this I know?"
Why would He care about me?
How do I know He REALLY loves me?

"For the Bible tells me so."

The sliver of hope breaks into a dawning of possibilities.
Scriptures from long ago resurface through the mire of depression.

"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you."

And what was that verse from that lady's retreat years ago???

She fumbles in the dark for the light.
Where was it?
With quickened steps, she rushes to the bookshelf.

How could she not know where it was?
Has it been that long?
Scanning the covers as if her life depended on it, she finally finds THE Book.

As she took it in her hands to find what she was looking for, that hope was now progressing into glorious light! The darkness and groping sadness was fading away.

She leafed through the pages.
Dust shot up as in protest of being awakened from a very long sleep.

Psalms.
No. New Testament.
Matthew.
No.
The pages fanned.
John.
Acts.
Romans.
Corinthians.

Corinthians.
And then there it was.
Highlighted.
Underlined.

And certain words circled.

A tear fell from her eyes to the page.
But this time, it was a waterworks of relief.

Hope was in full splendor in her heart. Pushing every thought, every heart beat, every breath to look to Him!

She traced the words with her finger.
Straining to comprehend its depth.

2 Corinthians 4:7

But (that word was circled)
we have
THIS (underlined)
treasure (circled and underlined)
in jars of clay (arrows pointing to the margin - Jars of clay = our bodies- our lives)
to show that this all-surpassing power is from God (all-surpassing = more than we can imagine)
and not from us.
We are hard-pressed on every side,
but NOT crushed; (things happen, but I won't be crushed!)
perplexed,
but not in despair; (I may be confused, but not all is lost!)
persecuted,
but not abandoned; (Bad things may happen, but I am not alone!)
struck down,
but not destroyed. (Life may really hurt, but I will NOT be destroyed!)

Her heart was beating so fast now, she had to remember to breathe. She suddenly felt as if God was in the very room with her.

She did as she had done as a small child.
She called to Him.

"Jesus!"
The moment she said His Name, His presence enveloped her with a love overwhelming.

"I'm so sorry! Please forgive me", she cried.

In the sweetness of His embrace, she felt the dirt and grime and bad choices of her life wash away in a cleansing tide.

Just like that, with a repentance of her heart, she felt like she had not in years.
She wiped a tear from her face.
A giggle erupted from somewhere in her soul.

Hmmm. She smiled as she realized how long it had been since she had felt this light.

Jesus.

He had been there the whole time ~ just waiting on her.
He had left the 99 and went looking for her.

Jesus.

She took the Bible with her to the bed and opened it once more.
She read.
And read.
She read until well after midnight.

Her soul was absorbing the Truth.
It had been so long.
She had believed all of the lies and had made all of those decisions based on lie after lie after lie.

At last, she was seeing His Truth.

When she finally turned out the light, she knew her life would be different from this night on.
Her circumstances had not changed.
But she had the Truth with which to take into all of her circumstances.

The Truth would make ALL the difference.

She fell asleep to the tune playing in her head:

"Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so."
..............................................................

It is my sincere prayer that you know Jesus in a very intimate way in your life. He desires a personal relationship with each of you!

You may be in a rough place. God doesn't always change our circumstances. Sometimes He changes our heart and gives us strength to make it through the tough circumstances.

I pray for you today!

blessings!

dorinda

Please see my other post regarding our upcoming Ladies Weekend, February 20-22 at our church. The theme is "Finding Treasure in Your Jar of Clay". You are all invited!!!




5 comments:

Beth in NC said...

That is beautiful Dorinda. It reminds me of a novel I just read, "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers.

Beautiful.

inkyspot said...

Poignant! May the Lord continually use you to reach many hungry and hurting hearts for the Kingdom.

And Happy New Year to you! :-)

mom interceding said...

You have a beautiful talent for writing. I wept as I read your post, the Holy Spirit reminding me how He longs for all of the lost to come back to Him. Blessings, Carolyn

Becoming Me said...

Oh Dorinda! THis is so so beautiful. It reads like something Max Lucado would write.

Laurie Ann said...

This is absolutely beautiful! I came here by way of Jennifer. You have a beautiful blog and a beautiful way with words...